Back to Uncivilization

Sometimes I wish we are not civilized and educated so we can't over-analyze our feelings and emotions. Sometimes I wish we had the IQ of below normal, so we wouldn’t pity ourselves even when others do.

It's dangerous to dig in deeper and deeper - how can one possibly save him/herself when the conscience of struggle is lost for good? Any surfacing changes are only temporary relieves and cures. But when those are gone, you fall back into the routine and being sucked into that quicksand even faster than ever.

Why do we torture ourselves this way? It's abusive and it has got to stop. IT HAS TO STOP IT HAS TO STOP IT HAS TO STOP!!! And we all know that the only person who can save us is the person you see in the mirror.

Blank out, space out, think nothing, be un-intelligent for a change - you might actually find it refreshing. Most importantly, love yourself so others can love you.

The Death of A Centipede

I just committed murder...

It appeared from nowhere and crawled quickly with its 60-some legs toward a hiding spot - the dark space behind my bulletin board.

This centipede was by far the largest I had ever seen. It was over 2 1/2 inches long, and its legs looked like fake eyelashes in extended-length. The three-seconds glimpse of this creature terrified me and I knew that it had to be killed in exchange for a peaceful night out of my own selfishness. As I lifted up the bulletin board, I couldn't help but to scream and scream. I hated the fact that I had to do it and I hated myself for being the weakling who feared this long-legged intruder. Four sheets of paper-towels in my hand, I pressed as hard as I could onto the wall, crushing its little body. Instantly, a wave of sadness hit me and I felt an urge to cry.

I wish that someone else was there besides me, someone who was brave enough to save this creature from being killed under my bare hands.