My Dear Friend...

My dear friend…

You need not to be overly critical on yourself. The fault is not yours, and the pain is not for you to embrace alone. Watching you sink deeper into despair, I only wish that you could accept who you are and realize that you are truly blessed.

Stop seeking the flaws in you, for you will only hurt yourself more. Don’t you know how fragile you are? After each turmoil, you cling onto the little strength there is left, barely standing with nowhere and no one to lean on. Then you face your worst critic – yourself. Shutting everyone out and accepting the brutal self-critic alone, you become the most pathetic and the loneliest soul.

We shouldn’t be this lonely… We should never make ourselves lonelier than we already are…

Don’t undervalue yourself and please don’t give up. It is our biggest task to keep an optimistic spirit no matter how rough things are. Things will get better as long as you believe in yourself.

Addiction

Do you know the game Snood?

I can't figure out why this game is so addictive. Is it the weird faces and their peculiar names? Jake, Zod, Mildred, Sunny, Midoribe, Geji, and Spike - they grind their teeth, stick out their tongues, and make faces that push your button just a little.

Could it be the mischievous satisfaction of playing it for free till the limited rounds are used up? The vicious poems at the end of each level and the "pleeease" that is sung by a chorus of snoods surely do make you feel guilty, though there still will not be payments - ever. Apology to Dave Dobson - the creator of Snood!

Whatever it is, I find myself spending hours and hours on the game in trying to break my own record. The curiosity of what the highest score that ever existed aggravates my obsession.

So I dragged it into "trash" - numerous times, since it somehow always got dragged Out of "trash". Then I decided to delete it permanently.

The latest news is that, Snood is "re-born" once again on my computer - it's material for this blog entry! On a second thought, did I choose to write about Snood only because it was a perfect excuse for me to download it again?

"Hello everyone, I am a snood-addict..."

Dream Sequence 1

There she was, more beautiful than I feared her to be, standing closely by your side and quietly completed you. I wanted to be her so badly so that you would look into my eyes with the same warmness and tenderness. What had once belonged to me was now gone and I could only watch it with envy from far. The truth was, she was perfect. Even though I could not gather enough courage to tell you, but I had told myself so over and over in my head. And I finally understood: you and her belonged together.

So I left the scene alone. Yet the dream went on: you came to me in tears and you said that you were sorry. Watching you cry only hurt me more. I put my arms around you, wanting to cry but unable to shed any tear, wanting to speak but nothing sounded. I was exhausted and consumed. There was nothing left of me except a wounded heart and an aching soul.